Wasted time

I'm sick of wasting time on you. I hate that every thought of you makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. I don't need anything or anyone right now, I'm really trying to forget you but I have known you for so long... The truth is this should have happened a long time ago, it's so pointless now. Really though, I loved you. BLEH. I really don't think I could live without you I'm so confused about what to do with myself, what school I want to go to I'm deciding my whole life without you and it sucks. I never wanted things to change; like the way I feel about you all the times all the memories. You told me to "never forget" and trust me I wont. So when I see you it will seem like I have moved on but I haven't and probably never will.. well what can you do?

Summer...

The chances of finally starting over have given me a better mind set, I can now focus on regular things like always. Maybe I will get back to photography, all I need to do is get my camera lens fixed but that costs money which means I need a job... I'm sixteen so getting a job will probably be a little hard since I also have to take some summer school so I can get the hell out of high school and graduate early. I don't know why I'm in such a hurry to grow up I should be enjoying these years but it just doesn't matter to me since being a teenager isn't exactly.... well I don't have words to even explain what its like to be a teenager. I'm done with all this shit though, thats all I know I just don't have the time or the energy. I thought that Hadley was really coming around but he called me last night and told me we should just be friends he doesn't want our friendship to get ruined, anyways he hasn't really talked to me since then. Boys are stupid- especially the ones who show up at your house, in the middle of the night, wasted. I will never fully understand them, either you want to be with me or you don't their is no such thing as a friend with benefits... and here is another rule, don't ever trust a boy that says they love you, they will just say something and change their mind later. Life is a Bitch.