Saturday, May 22, 2010
Today I burned the letters, the notes and the messages of all the things she gave me, all 223 of them. I have no memory of what we did, no reminder of her presence and I have been sitting on the floor of my room looking at the ceiling for two hours... Trying to burn the memory of her existence in my life but no such luck. For a moment I felt all alone and sad at the things I remembered about Tagan. My past life scurried along in my head twisting around with memories of myself where I found happiness in the world and nothing was wrong. I didn't worry about parents, friends or school work, I didn't care about anything until this happened now i'm in my room smoking a hookah and I care about all the people I hurt and i'm buried in the lies that she told me. Sometimes I feel like she wasn't a real person. It hurts to think about what once was.